Resources Blog

You can love your husband and still have days when you wonder if you even like him. Before you decide the spark is gone, try getting off his paper, putting that energy back into you, and widening the lens.

A client recently asked me, "I'm motivated to be the Girl of Fun and Light (GOFL)... but how?" I smiled because I remember wondering the exact same thing! Here's how I've come to understand it... A GOFL isn't pretending life is easy or forcing herself to be bubbly. She's protecting her joy. She doesn't wait for life, her husband, or her circumstances to hand over her happiness. She creates small, medium, and XL moments of delight. She follows what lights her up. She builds a

Hi, I'm Steph Terry. And I'm a recovering People Pleaser😆 Before the skills, I was an Olympic-level over-functioner. Weekends, vacations, holidays… if there wasn't structure, I became the cruise director, emotional manager, snack coordinator, activity planner, and low-key martyr. I thought I was helping. Really, I was running around on everyone else's paper, trying to make sure nobody was disappointed, bored, hungry, or frustrated. No wonder I was exhausted. I wasn't just ca

I used to think The 6 Intimacy Skills™ were just for marriage. Turns out, my kids have been learning them too. This summer, I was freaking out about having the kids home for weeks sans any routine before sleep away camp. My husband and I both work from home, and I could feel my inner cruise director revving up. Historically, I was convinced it was my responsibility to keep everyone entertained, productive, and off screens. And one afternoon, I caught myself slipping into old

Loving my husband means helping him improve, right? Busted! With The Six Intimacy Skills™ I realized being “helpful” in wife language is actually “critical” in husband language. When I switched out the cast iron he was using to cook the bacon in, took over the holiday travel plans, undid how he loaded the dishwasher for crying out loud, the message I was sending was, you’re wrong and I’m right. Now it’s clear why my husband lost motivation to take initiative. I was totally un

When I stepped back, my husband finally had the opportunity to step up, be my hero and feel successful in our marriage.

I'm not controlling!!! Making "helpful" suggestions. We justify our suggestions because we were just trying to help but what we're really doing is squashing the intimacy. Helpful in wife language is critical in husband language. Talking on our husband's behalf. By explaining what he meant to say or simply speaking in his place, without consulting him, the message we are sending is that he is incapable of making himself understood, solving a problem or expressing himself. Maki

1. Self Care: Taking responsibility for your own happiness. Treating yourself well ups your tolerance level and patience. It gives you the reserves to show up fun and playful so you can actually have something to contribute to your relationship verses the old burnout. Self care may be social, physical, spiritual and the list goes on. Be creative here, think outside the box and experiment with what makes you smile in the moment (e.g. dancing, mountain biking, cat videos, jumpi

BAM!!! I was crying in a fertility clinic when it dawned on me, I married the wrong person. I married Peter Pan and he would never grow up. After our fifth insemination procedure (IUI), my doctor tilted the bed so my feet were up in the air and my head was tipped downward. Vulnerable in a hospital gown with my husband within arms reach, I have never felt more alone in my life. Somewhere along our fertility journey the connection in my marriage vanished. My husband did not com