The Day I Stopped Trying to Fix My Husband, Everything Changed✨

Loving my husband means helping him improve, right? Busted! With The Six Intimacy Skills™ I realized being “helpful” in wife language is actually “critical” in husband language.

When I switched out the cast iron he was using to cook the bacon in, took over the holiday

travel plans, undid how he loaded the dishwasher for crying out loud, the message I was sending was, you’re wrong and I’m right.

Now it’s clear why my husband lost motivation to take initiative. I was totally unplease-able and undermining his every move.

Imagine standing on one riverbank and your husband is on the other side. It’s runoff and the water is gushing between the two of you. I was screaming over the water telling my husband how to cross, waving my arms, and anticipating he would do it the wrong way.

I was a magnet alright, but the wrong side. I was repelling my husband.

Meanwhile, the river between us was loud, fast, and RELENTLESS.

The harder I yelled, the more exhausted I became.

Then one day my husband took our kids ice fishing. I wanted to pack the extra socks, snacks, hand warmers etc. His way of parenting was a constant trigger for my inner fixer.

Instead of shouting across the river, I decided to stop managing him. If nagging worked, my marriage would have been perfect at this point. I knew in order to create change, it had to start with me.

When I stopped focusing on what my husband was doing, I saw a whole trail in front of me.

So I did the bravest, most uncomfortable thing I could think of…

I started walking my own path.

I practiced pausing instead of reacting.

I took off my martyr cape and softened.

I started caring for myself instead of correcting him.

When he shared frustrations, I listened instead of steering.

When I felt hurt, I owned it without blaming.

I trusted him to take care of the kids, and I started working on the relationship with the woman in the mirror. She had been neglected for quite some time.

It’s been clunky, strenuous, deliberate, and absolutely liberating.

And the wild part is when I stopped shouting over the river, my husband found his way back to me. No pushing or convincing, just trusting and loving.

This energy shift changed everything. The man I had been trying to fix, you know that awesome guy I married, was attracted to me again.

Are you ready for change but not sure how? I’ve got you.

Let’s connect and see if relationship coaching could be a fit.

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