My Kids Are Becoming My Greatest Mirrors🪞
- Stephanie Terry
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
I used to think The 6 Intimacy Skills™ were just for marriage.
Turns out, my kids have been learning them too.
This summer, I was freaking out about having the kids home for weeks sans any routine before sleep away camp. My husband and I both work from home, and I could feel my inner cruise director revving up. Historically, I was convinced it was my responsibility to keep everyone entertained, productive, and off screens.
And one afternoon, I caught myself slipping into old habits.
My son had been in the bathroom for what felt like forever, so I wandered over to check on him.
Without missing a beat, he poked his head out and said, “Mom… get off my paper.”
I burst out laughing.
Because he was right.
He didn’t need me checking on him. He had it handled. I was inserting myself where I didn’t belong.
That little moment shifted something in me.
Instead of trying to create the perfect summer, I enrolled the kids in the solution.
With a little help from ChatGPT, we created a Summer Adventure Board together. They came up with reading in hammocks, bike rides, Lego challenges, goo in the garage, library trips, water balloon battles—and even chores they wanted to own, like feeding the animals, changing the chickens’ water, weeding, unloading the dishwasher, harvesting our grow dome.
Instead of carrying the mental load of planning every day, we created a summer together.
The result?
This has been one of our smoothest summers yet. It’s been active, flexible, full of adventure, and surprisingly peaceful—not because I had the perfect plan, but because I stopped trying to carry it all.
A few days later, my son said something that really stung my daughter. Instead of firing back, she simply looked at him and said, “Ouch.”
My heart smiled.
Not because she was hurting—but because I realized she was borrowing my language.
Lately I’ve been hearing things like:
“I hear you.”
“Ouch.”
“Whatever you think.”
Little phrases I've practiced in our home.
It hit me that my kids are always watching. They’re watching how I respond when I’m frustrated, how I apologize, how I respect boundaries, and how I get back on my own paper. It's not perfect. It's accountable.
The 6 Intimacy Skills™ have transformed my marriage, but one of the greatest surprises has been watching them ripple through our family.
My kids are my greatest mirrors.
And while that can be humbling (especially when they remind me to get back on my own paper 😅), it’s also incredibly hopeful.
Because they’re not just listening to what I say.
They're modeling how I do life.
If you’re longing for more peace, connection, and cooperation with both your spouse and your kids,
I’d love to show you what’s possible.
Let’s chat💛
