Helping or Over-Functioning?

Hi, I'm Steph Terry. And I'm a recovering People Pleaser😆

Before the skills, I was an Olympic-level over-functioner. Weekends, vacations, holidays… if there wasn't structure, I became the cruise director, emotional manager, snack coordinator, activity planner, and low-key martyr.

I thought I was helping. Really, I was running around on everyone else's paper, trying to make sure nobody was disappointed, bored, hungry, or frustrated.

No wonder I was exhausted. I wasn't just carrying my own emotions—I was trying to carry everyone else's too.

Then we moved to Costa Rica for three months. Talk about a crash course in relinquishing control.

There was homeschooling, remote work, language barriers, howler monkeys, diet changes, injuries… and about a thousand opportunities every day to slip back into over-functioning.

Old Steph would've tried to manage everyone's experience.

Instead, I started asking myself two simple questions:

How do I feel? What do I want?

I checked in with myself first. I backed off my husband. I backed off my kids. I stopped trying to micromanage everyone's emotional weather. And gradually... I learned to trust myself.

I used to think "surrendering" meant duct-taping my mouth shut to keep the peace. But there was another level.

I had no idea how much I was carrying that was never mine to hold.

Ironically, the less I managed everyone else, the more connected we became.

Not because everyone suddenly behaved perfectly. But because I finally got out of everyone's business🤣

Turns out, my husband and kids didn't need a cruise director. They just needed me. Light. Present. A relaxed woman actually enjoying the adventure🌴

⚾️ This Week's Play

Take a look at everything you're carrying this week, and notice where you can drop the rope.

Is it overseeing whether your kids brush their teeth?

Counting your husband's Modelo intake?

Reminding your hubs to register the ATV? 😅

Where are you carrying something that doesn't actually belong on your paper?

Experiment with letting one thing go. Then notice what happens. Do you feel lighter? More peaceful? More present?

Does it create a little more space for connection—with your husband, your kids... or maybe even with yourself?

Remember, this isn't about neglecting what matters. It's about making space for what matters most🔑

Feeling like you're carrying a load that was never yours to carry?

Let's change that.

Subscribe for Weekly Plays and reach out for a free clarity call when you're ready to chat.

You're not alone✨

Start Here