Why Do I Have To Do ALL The WORK 😤
You know that moment?
You’re reading the book, showing up for coaching, practicing gratitude, duct-taping your mouth, staying on your paper…
Meanwhile, your husband is just… living his life 😤
And the thoughts spread like wildfire:
WHY DO I HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK?
And you know what? That’s FAIR.
Maybe you ARE doing more intentional work right now. Maybe you picked up The Empowered Wife book. You hired the coach. And your husband would rather lick a cactus than listen to a relationship podcast with you 🌵
But here’s what I’ve been thinking about ~
What is all this “work” actually giving YOU?
I’ve had the Skills in my life for about 10 years now. And holy smokes… Check out what’s changed on MY side of the street:
I’m in touch with how I feel. I feel ALIVE. I can let the Instant Pot soak overnight 😂 I tell my hairstylist when the water is chilly instead of lying there freezing because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.
I said “I can’t” be our family travel agent anymore. My husband now makes ALL our travel arrangements ✈️ I trust I am the expert in my own life. My husband and I both have access to and conversations about our finances.
I’m in touch with my own sexuality. I know my body and how it works.
I started a new career, built a business and became a fully booked relationship coach. I’ve gotten up on stages and spoken to hundreds of women about my transformation with the Skills.
And aired my dirty laundry 👉 Listen to My Story on The Empowered Wife Podcast
I broke the generational parenting cycle, and my children TALK to me. They come to me. I am their safe place.
I’m going on my second week-long yoga and surf retreat in Central America this winter 🏄♀️ Shoot, I moved to Costa Rica for THREE MONTHS!
And the butt smacks from my hubs are in full swing over here🔥
My life got bigger.
And yes, women ask me all the time, “But Steph… has your husband changed?”
YES. Absolutely.
So much of his change has happened in response to mine🗝️
I stopped managing everything, and there was room for him to step in. I got clearer about what I wanted, and he had a chance to please me. I stopped handing him responsibility for my happiness. And along the way, our marriage changed too.
Not because I finally Skills-ed hard enough to earn myself a better husband 😬
Because I focused on the one person I could change... ME.
Turns out, all this “work” has been one heck of a self-improvement project.
And that kind of transformation? Nobody can take it away from me.
So sure. Maybe I picked up the book first. Maybe I hired the coach. Maybe I started doing the work. And knowing where that work has taken me? I wouldn’t give back a SINGLE piece of this journey.
Not the uncomfortable parts. Not the messy parts. Not even the parts where I was absolutely convinced it wasn’t fair.
Because somewhere in all that “work,” I didn’t just create a different marriage. I started becoming the absolute best version of myself.
So do I still occasionally think, “Why do I have to do all the work?”
Yep 😂
But damn, am I glad I started 🗝️
Ready to do the “work?” Maybe even have some fun doing it?
Subscribe for weekly plays, and book a free Clarity Call
to see what this “work” could look like for YOU✨
