Who's Measuring Your Worth?
Is it you? Or have you handed the measuring tape to someone else?
Maybe it’s your husband, maybe it’s your boss, the number on the scale, social media, or even your kids.
It’s ridiculously easy to let someone else’s response become a report card on how we measure up.
Your husband is grumpy. He changes the plans, forgets something that mattered to you, or doesn’t respond the way you hoped.
And suddenly my brain, I mean, your brain 😅... can go from: He’s in a bad mood... to
Maybe I’m not important.
My needs don’t matter.
Maybe if I were different…
WOW. That escalated quickly! YOUCH!
This is a painful true story. I’ve looked at my husband’s face like it was a weather report for my worth.
Is he happy with me?
Are we okay?
Does he seem distant?
Did I do something wrong?
And if the forecast looked stormy, I could immediately start figuring out what I needed to fix.
Utterly EXHASUTING! Talk about abandoning myself 😣
But something really cool started happening when I found The SIx Intimacy Skills™.
Instead of asking, “What does his response say about me?” I started asking a much more interesting question:
Who do I want to be?
Ohhhh. Now we're talking. This isn't about one stormy moment. This is about the woman I'm becoming.
Way bigger. Way juicier. And this part? 100% on my paper. BOOM💥
I have a vision for her.
I want to be a warm, adventurous, silly mom.
I want to be in Permanent Girlfriend Mode with my husband.
I don't want to scream louder to be heard, or shrink myself to keep the peace. I want my voice to matter. I want to listen to understand, not just reload for my response😒 I want respect, AND I want to bring respect to the table too. Relationships are a conversation.
I want to know what I want, put those desires out into the universe, and leave room for some of that goodness to boomerang right back to me.
I want to honor my limits instead of pushing myself until I'm depleted and resentful.
I want to put my own oxygen mask on first so I can show up as the woman I actually WANT to be.
That became my measuring stick.
And then I went on a treasure hunt for evidence that I was becoming her. Evidence doesn't lie.
We are incredible, smart, brave women. Whatever I go looking for, I'm going to find it.
When I was completely cooked and said “I can’t” instead of pumping out 72 brownies for the kids’ bake sale... I was honoring my limits.
When my husband promised our kids a puppy for their 10th birthday without consulting me—and had visions of a hunting dog dancing in his head—I expressed my own desire: "I’d love a goofy golden retriever."
I didn't have to win. I didn't have to convince. I just had to let myself want something and say it.
Little by little, I started collecting evidence:
I can speak up.
I can honor my limits.
I can take care of myself without waiting until everyone else is happy first.
I can have desires without demanding an outcome.
I can be respectful without disappearing.
And THAT started building my confidence.
Not because everyone around me suddenly behaved exactly the way I wanted.
Because I was becoming a woman I trusted.
Challenge by Choice: Meet Your Magic Wand Woman ✨
Who is the woman you want to be? Pick three words that describe her. Playful? Brave? Sexy? Peaceful? Adventurous? Magnetic? FUN?
Now go on a treasure hunt for her🔎
For the next week, find three pieces of evidence that you're already becoming that woman and write those down every day.
Maybe you honored an “I can’t. Expressed a desire. Laughed instead of spiraled. Wore the dress. Went for a walk instead of doing the dishes right away...
ALL evidence counts!
Because confidence grows every time you get to say: “See? There she is.” ✨
Take back the measuring tape. Your Magic Wand Woman might be closer than you think.
Want to talk about it? I’d love to connect.
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