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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Terry

Become a Receiving Queen

Updated: Nov 13, 2023


It is better to receive than to give... Wait, what? Have you ever resisted gifts, compliments, help or apologies? You're not alone! Receptivity is the essence of femininity. We are built to receive so why is it instinctual to reject basically everything?

Common Reasons We Reject Instead of Receive:

  1. We feel out of control

  2. We are trying to appear modest

  3. We feel mistrustful

  4. We feel undeserving

  5. We feel indebted

  6. We want to appear independent

  7. We have our own agendas

  8. We don't want to feel vulnerable


Friend: I'm sorry I'm twenty minutes late.

Me: No worries.

By not acknowledging the apology I am dismissing it and the person giving the apology. I am also putting myself down. My time is not important so... no big deal.

Husband: Babe, that green chili sauce you made last night was delish!

Me: Meh, it could have used more cumin and salt.

Rejecting this compliment from my husband compromised our connection. He's trying to please me and give me kudos and I am snubbing both him and his sweet gesture.

BBQ Guest: Hey, can I help with that mountain of dishes in the kitchen?

Me/Hostess: I've got it.

Once again, I am missing an opportunity to connect with someone and receive help. Not to mention lighten my load.

Husband: I thought of you when I saw these...

(I open a little recycled brown box with turquoise heart dangly earrings)

Me: You shouldn't have. I barely wear dangly earrings.

Ouch!!! You're getting the picture now, right? I am rejecting the thoughtful gift and my husband. What could have been an intimate, romantic Valentine's Day turned into a chilly, disconnected evening with my husband watching ice hockey and me reading in our bedroom. I wonder how our night could have gone if I leapt off my chair, kissed my husband and received his present graciously by saying, "thank you."


Whenever you have the opportunity to receive gifts, compliments, help and apologies simply say, "Thank You." Nothing more and nothing less.

A fellow passenger offering to get your bag from the plane's overhead compartment. A stranger opening the door for you. A friend whipping out her credit card to pay for your lunch. The librarian complimenting your hair. Your dentist offering you a free whitening kit. Your mom-friend offering to run the carpool shuttle both directions.

Good Receivers Benefit By:

  1. Giving our partners purpose.

  2. Becoming more attractive and feminine

  3. Experiencing more connection/intimacy

  4. Building confidence (when I accept a compliment, I start to believe it)

  5. Increase your tolerance for more amazing things

  6. Attract more gifts

  7. Having more free time from accepting help

  8. Feeling worthy

You've got this!!!

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